Yappy Sunday 001

This morning, as I boiled water for my dandelion tea, I broke my own rules and started scrolling social media before journaling or seeing the sun. As my tea steeped, I stumbled upon a few posts with one clear message: discipline is devotion.

One post by @thepulpgirls shared a few affirmations for Pisces this September including, “discipline feels like devotion to myself.”

As an alleged hedonist, I love this reframe.

For me, discipline has always felt restrictive. Punishing. The weight of always is just so limiting, and consistency seems so tedious.

But devotion? Devotion feels like love.

And there are so many things worth being devoted to.

• I am drinking dandelion tea every morning because I am devoted to figuring out how to have clear skin naturally.
• I journal every morning because I am devoted to being honest with myself.
• I refresh the altars in my home every Sunday morning because I am devoted to my ancestors and guides.
• I walk 10,000 steps a day because I am devoted to being healthy and active.
• I am going to start reading at least 50 pages a day because I am devoted to learning and growing as much as possible during my master’s program and truly being immersed in the insane amounts of reading being assigned is essential to making that happen.
• I am going to publish here consistently because I am devoted to the writer I want to become.

Last week I missed my first intended publication date for The Dirty Divine.

I was really proud of myself having posted every other Sunday consecutively for 8 weeks. A cute little sprint of discipline.

But last week was Labor Day Weekend. The student in me was exhausted from orientation the week before, and anxiously fixated on the start of classes. The perfectionist in me didn’t like what I spent the morning working on. The marketer in me knew that anything I post on the Sunday of a holiday weekend would be a dud anyway. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.

And I wasn’t going to post this week at all. It’s a scheduled off week. I’m chin-deep in reading for my second week of classes, and not yet in a place where any of what I’m learning is ready to be metabolized into writing, and none of the personal essays I’ve been workshopping are ready to share with the world.

But, thankfully, this morning I broke my own rule, and scrolled social media before journaling or seeing the sun. And I realized that if there is anything I am ready to devote myself to in this season, it’s this.

I am devoted to the woman I want to become, and that is a woman who has written her place in this world.

I am devoted to showing up: for my highest self, for my inner child, and for my community.

So I came here to offer you the question that’s been echoing in my mind this Sunday morning:

What would it mean to start viewing the hard work, sacrifices, and consistency needed to make my dreams come true, not as discipline, but as devotion?

And more importantly, perhaps most importantly:

What are you devoted to?